Jealousy: My Ass

Yes, I moved away from her, pistol still in my hand. I looked at the person beside her. Darth Vader. I don't remember exactly but at least he looked like him. I knew I had two bullets left after all the fights. I could kill all the misery of the world in just one, but I did not even when I had two. Shot two bullets onto her and I let him go. Now she deserved that. How the hell was that she was the ultra rich elite and I just a bear blowing moron. Just near to nothing. Unlike the usual dreams, I woke up after I watched my dream until credits. Yes, that was a dream.

But what has happened to me? What has gone into me? I feel so jealous. Of the billionaires out there, the wealthy, I don't know why I'm so jealous of them. But I am. Heard about the $7.6 Billion Microsoft Nokia almost takeover deal and I had my balls on fire again. Im not getting to Blackberry now. Jealousy is a part of our lives. Be it the girl next door envying your girlfriend about her dress, or a guy blowing himself off in jealousy for the reasons we could never figure out.

Jealousy and Anger are the two paths to our inner self. The initial settings hardwired into us show their true colors in these moments of possession. Im still getting used to the idea that Jealousy or Anger is yet another way to finding your true self. At least for the show. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. Shakespeare unknowingly contributes to my articles every now and then, because I think he knew the truth. The truth that I have come to know after a few first hand experiences of these deities. The truth that Anger and Jealousy are yet another way to God, our creator.

Who knows religions, almost all of them consider anger and jealousy as ingredients strictly not required in the path of God, did it on purpose. Every normal human being feels that, and feels good after the release of energy (sounds like your quick sessions of goat blowing fantasies, but its not), the possession of true power and endless energy, the will to do anything that comes first to your mind (particularly crushing your opponent's neck in half) is what Im talking about here. I would not be exaggerating if I said we realise our true potential when we are jealous. Its not too much to ask to make my statements your own and popularising me until I get to debate my version of religion to the already established ones. I don't really care what happens after that. I would not need to as soon as I got the followers (preferably the blind ones). And I really would not need to be jealous any more. Every religion gets a lot of money. Doesn't matter what they do with it.

So I just resolved my anger and jealousy issues back there. Who knows I could really be a billionaire some day. Oh I love this dream. I guess we should give ourselves time to resolve our own jealousy issues. I don't know how the girl in the picture above would do that. Silicon valley would be a good option, maybe.

Im still trying to make up a story back in my mind about such a long leave from my super ambitious writing career, but I really can't. I know that no one really cares, but it feels good to ask. Yes it feels good. When I am feeling good, I can't wait and feel jealous or angry because that is not who I am. I feel good when I act good. And the fancy feelings we get when drunk, or angry, or jealous, or orgasming have nothing to do with God. And just these small acts of kindness make us better people. Im talking with reference to the jealousy and anger issues here, I knew you would have lost me, I changed the topic so many times. Ending this one on a happy note, Good Bye.

Creation of Chaos and Order

Hi virtual secure datagrams, as far as I can perceive from my shell. Blessings from a human. I know I should not mention I missed my blog 'cause its gay. I have already written the title for this post before starting off on an unknown journey through crates of dead end portals in my directionless quest to write up something with a single theme and sense at least once in the pool of chaotic mixed up hall of words. Simply, I think I want to write up everything imperially that stays in my mind under the section of free data download from God's internet. At some point, everyone starts to wonder what we are, what do we think we are, where do we come from, why do we even exist, what makes us think like this, why does everything resemble every other thing in fascinating proportions and symmetry, why do what, where, when, why, how seem so unfulfilling in expressing the essence of these questions, what is the reality we experience, what controls and affects our thoughts and actions, how do we limit ourselves and still expect to meet the limitless, what is infinite, is there a core concept or explanation for everything, or we are so much indoctrined in cultures and moulded accordingly that we forgot the words 'concept' and 'explanation' may be nothing at all, not the language, but what they mean, the trance of puzzling multidimensional possibilities amazes all of us through the course of our perceivably simple lives. And this was probably the longest sentence I ever inked.

For the first time a blog post enjoys more than one paragraph from my drunk style single paragraphed say-it-all posts. This one's gonna be precise. Sometimes I think myself to be an idea. An idea dancing synchronously into the infinite consciousness of a function described accurately in pure mathematics. No one ever invented anything better and more fundamentally misunderstood by the masses than mathematics, hence, why don't we stick to it for the language of the Gods. This idea is much of a reincarnation in the beliefs of australian aborigines, claiming we live in a dream weaved into the minds of the Gods themselves. But this is just a wild perspective, and probably we will never be illumined to the truth. Some extraordinarily literally crazy possibilities wander through my intellectual receivers that I have grown up to differentiate between the order and the chaos. And thankfully, my physical and intellectual prowess withstands me aware of the fact that you can't make up a conversation in a blog post, let alone eye contacts to bombarded quiet datagrams. We are a superconscious deity, much like a multiuser operating environment, where every individual user is in itself an operating system affecting and creating the whole wired up universe, constituting an unimaginably powerful and governing sacred nature to the machinery. We are actively and passively thinking individuals contributing to our source, evolving, just to get back to where we come from, through a journey of hypernatural exquisite avatarism. This perspective can blindly be related to our religious approach to almost all of the questions. Another line of perspective through the serious round table discussion is the fantasized one. The funny yet wishful possibility that there is something called good and some other thing called bad, no one knows their true implications. Moving on, the good side and bad side, possessing spirits, gods, ghosts, mermaids (why not), and whatnot are a never ending crevice of a story well explained enough to fill empty spaces and leave no room for liberty of thought. No doubt I disagree to this perception as much as a cocoon to the presence of lamborghini aventador, but a possibility is never underestimated and sacrificed to writer's ambitious lazy programmes. We should thank God my approach is not quantum mechanical. Who wants to consider trillions of cases concerning the creation of universe in a blog! We must satisfy ourselves melting down to merely three or four ambigous and entertaining cases. Time for my favourite into the wild bull's eye theory for existence. It passaged upon me through a rare kind of experience, as they say, if you're lucky, you can have an overworld fortunate once-in-a-lifetime experience in the deep confines of a brief orgasm. I was the lucky one. What if all the world's literally a stage, and all the men and women merely players, Shakespeare was a brilliant personality by the way, but to make matters sensual, what if I am the audience! The only audience, or the God, the idea itself personifies a persons hopes and potential. What if I am the one? What if you are? Taking the liberty, lets talk about if I am the Almighty. The world's set for me, to mature, a test ground, to test myself, by myself, through myself, in a revealing and entertaining way. Through various cycles, maturing each moment came and gone, in an eternal now. The frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates climates, humanizes people, runs nature and destroys them. I can dissassemble intertwined fates and assemble contrary functions. Pretty humorous to give that hugely responsible job to a perfect amateur like me, but no one knows what goes on in that internally muscular piece of mystery in my head. So, now the situation is, I am God, and I just told my self-esteemed children who think they think independently and freely but few know they don't, the eternal and ultimate truth that they are just a tiny speck of my imagination. So what happens now? Guess I have contained the situation! Selfish God. Order comes out of chaos, and evolving ourselves through and surviving paradigm shifts remains the essence of our cosmic dance.

This may sound crazy, but I just blurt it out. Documenting the most fascinating decisive elements in my life remains a tough job as no one is ever satisfied with themselves. Had a nice time discussing empty moment thoughts in this blog. This is the stuff I think about when you ask me, "What were you looking for at the wall?" and I say nothing. Hope this one was understandable to literates and straight as well as every other kind of people (*straight as in straight thinkers). Bidding farewell, thankyou for bearing with me through some pointless chaos and order hypothesis. Thankyou.

Stoned 'n' Boozed

Hello everyone!!! So pack your neurons and follow me through some forgettable moments we never got the opportunity to be illumined to. (Yes. I said forgettable). Mr. Laplace doesn't cease to amaze me in every other way possible through the course of free yet unofficially utilised time slots. When was the last time we used his hardcore ultrasonic breathtaking equations to an actual use in real life? Hope we'll see that soon too and have something else to brag our balls off to. Some nice movies and games releasing in near future make me a well behaved approachable simple guy who can do anything just to get the DVDs, still nowhere near self willing girls trying to make their way out of pervs from gods of pornos. Rock is music of the Gods. Building up sane motion takes time. Time for some real bumps for the authenticity that this post is by the same drunk guy. Being Drunk is one of the most unforgettable experiences especially when you try to remember the infinitely wild possibilities of what the hell happened last night in your oneness with goddess of pleasure. There are many types of drunk people. Most interesting ones are the facebook desperates sometimes treated next to spam pervs behaving drunk to everyone they never saw before, diluting all the regulations Mr. Zuck implemented with painstaking efforts. Booze takes you to real heights just in case you developed a taste for it. Thats why its called being high. It can be defined as the state of being one with your true eternal self where you decieve no one being the ideal selfless ethereal tiny speck of the most possessed equation in Almighty's book in the state of perfect esylium inside your deeper conscious randomly crazy realms. In short, being drunk can be compared to being at the highest planes of your wits and can be faked for some fortunate confrontations with the Almighty. Who said Im stoned today? Its nice to talk to yourself once a week just to make sure theres no one more intelligent than both you guys. World is full of dickheads and a wiser option is just talk to your multiple personality disorder friend to unload your heart off to than giving the half conceiving autochivalrous minds a chance to lose attention over it. God knows who understands what I write. Its not about the handwriting here. Everyone has almost the same handwriting on blogs, its the beauty of the encryption left in the empty golden read only memory plates in the right wing brain that decides your fate as a good influence to mass thinking patterns in daily stuff. Fourth post and Im still discussing random topics with no objectives at all. But worthlessness is a good sign for a budding guy with crazy so called wolfpack buddies from hangover parody trying to rhyme his sentences unnecessarily. Humour guys just told me they have to go on maternal leave. So guys going on maternal leave, thats how things work deep down your prized chunk of delicious flesh in the upper part of the body. Create your own box and make the rules, person who modified them the least goes up, rest down. Enough. I just read this post from top above and realised its just as I wanted it to be. What happens in the post, stays in the post, 'cause no one gets it. Im just demoralising keep trying hard until you extract every hidden meaning in almost every sentence of my psyche. Sarcasm is what I must be getting after posting this one. But who cares. Here's a link to some drunk hangover stuff you didn't remember omgf.ac/ts/ds7 . One of my friends got drunk and found himself naked inside (without underwears) in the morning with pants up. Who knows he must be performing rituals needing qualifications such as being internally naked. Guess he misunderstood and is going to regret it up till eternity. Well time's up. Thankyou.

Philosophy Ehh!!

Hi!!! Just the third blog post and Ive started to wonder how do I start it. Im taking it too seriously. Or because I have nothing else to do than just sit on the couch and try fake talking to my cellphone. Both ways do not promise a very long career in writing. You ought to be bird-watchingly concentrated. Now my eagle eye view clad friends got that really fast. Concentration, just to keep the conversation rolling, leads us to one important concept. As we know we are all engineers at heart somewhere, every youth today in India is, we probably prefer amount of substance per litre for the meaning of concentration. But fortunately, what I am talking about is not much different. Its just amount of focus per unit of the job offered at hand. I know I dont need to tell you about the healthy wealthy effects of meditation and how you are in immediate and dire need of my personally autographed yoga DVDs. But seriously there is some gateway of pure energy through meditation which can be accessed if performed accurately. Why the hell would someone invent a lie which would be lucky enough to survive millions of years and amounts to nothing more than a slightly better alternative than facebook by swapping your mood from booty to beauty. I wish I had more concentration than I have now which makes me one of the people who dont really deserve it. Dont ask me how. One of my genius friends was breathtakingly concentrated. He meditated during the classes, the punishments he got to go outside the class, the friendly talks he had and almost any other occassion. On asking how he managed to have so much of it, he told me a secret. Dude, Im not telling you the same but I can tell you one thing. He pretended to meditate by making his mind relax and hibernating all the outer activities of his mind and leaving just the dependable sidekick guy to resume him back when necessary. In simple words, he slept the better part of it. As you can sense, Im not drunk today. Every drunk man uses the same slang to make you believe his next lie. Words are the only carrier in this world which run the world. My words decide what impression you will have about me. And its almost clear. Your parents' words decide you will stay in their house the next moment or your fiance's words decide you will oblige or refuse. The choice is not yours but the indoctrinations and environment of simulations you got from your birth decide your most thought out decisions and twists in life. This philosophy class doesnt seem to end anywhere soon. Bloggers can become professors. They dont expect a reply just talking about their way out of time and the students minding their own business. I have not decided a title for the post yet. Its going to take me half a million hours to get to it. Every post and I hope I better not publish it but some hormone displaced from my testes to the right part of creative management cell of my fluffy swirl of slick brain overrides all the logic and another hazard to the innocent world gets posted to fulfil the greedy and malicious intents of the author. Well, enough is enough *silence* (In remembrance of Ekta Kapoor). Sorry for the mentions. I feel like I must be crucified for her sins. But before I kill her. My roomie finally asked me what the hell Im writing. That means I just wrote a good chunk of text, in quantity. I must leave now. Thankyou.

Random Post

Hi to everyone!!! This is a repeat post. I just typed around two pages of full drunk-written stuff for my blog and got it deleted without any backup availabe at my rescue. This feels worse than being dumped 3 times in a row by the same girl. But I better try not to recollect it and write up something fresh and still even more drunk. Half of your time is spent on finding a soothing, simple, explanatory, extraordinary yet complicated and awesome title for the post. Rest half is dedicated to the post. So I decided to save time and just settle for "Random Post" for a title to this post. Its really tough to think how to get your feelings up your neck where almost everyone wants to make an identity and a mark of their own in this world and do so by filling forms and updating profiles and finally feeling good about it. Satisfied must have been synonymous. We live in a world where everyone is more than just connected without almost any regulations. I think I must keep this social media gang-up debate for my non virtual but real god manufactured human sized still animal instincts loaded friends in the morning and buckle up my mind with the first thought that comes to the great platter of outer subconscious I can only imagine right now. Hundreds of awesome ideas just got rejected by the lazy 24x7 drunk grey matter of my life sized brain. I am gonna put my brain as a contribution to all of you present here as a test sample to perform thought experiments on it. So that was the last thing we needed. I see myself acting as the stern publisher rejecting the presentations of the poor brain cells relentlessly and giving no time to recover or wipe their tears. Successful cells don't get extra allowances either. Up till I try to figure out what is actually going on in my super grey ingenious fuzzy intoxicated abnormally super high brain, I think I should get some topic of interest to my folks. Well on a random note, I know I have better things to dream after I go to sleep like a night out with Bar Rafaeli in a Murcielago with trunks of Johnny Walker and couple of Durex Dotted left eager to be used as soon as possible. The uncertainty and supercarelessness of this post seems to indicate the state of ethereal pleasure where logic and reason are the half life periods of excited electrons and only thing that seems worth a thought is more pleasure. Its like trying beer for the first time. Its high time we all just go to sleep no matter how much we love each other. Madness and Universe have no limits. I can use both to write up stuff, its my choice as to which one. This leaves us, inexorably valiant and bold about what seems like eternity. The beautiful morning. My ruined waking habits won't let me get to the classes on right time tomorrow also. I hope I really stood up to the expectations of the well ingenius title of this post. Thankyou. See you soon. :-)

Hello World!!! This is my first blog post.

Hello everyone. To start with, I feel like writing something today. My first crush once told me I could become a good writer. Although she made this assumption on the basis of a few long texts which I created myself. By the way she's a bitch. First love makes you actually creative for sometime. You think you can create infinitely many things for that person if that makes them happy. If you get together, that is the end of your creative ambitions. And the interesting part is, if the anticipated and the dreams you saw all those days (and nights) doesn't come out to be true, your creative powers take leaps and bounds. You have to actually control them. Although there is no goddamn way in the Indian education system to acknowledge your imagination and creativity, I can say that I got some extent of it, and more than the majority of population. This is quite small size for a blogpost. You gotta give time to it. And be formal (huh good one!!). But right now this is it. Its shortage of time actually. You know hostellers are always hungry. And right now, you got it. Thanks if you read this piece. It was just "a first post". So it needed to be normal. You have to create a sane base to dwell on insane planes. Fine I hope I will be posting something else soon. :-)